Post by kalar on Dec 2, 2014 6:11:04 GMT -5
The newest Call of Duty always gets a special sort of nerdy vehement online hatred I never quite can understand. If these fans have bought and played the last few Call of Duties, and then they bought the newest one, why does it surprise them that it's the exact same thing with a few minor improvements and changes? Why does it piss them off so bad that they declare it the worst thing ever? I've seen this with every single CoD since World at War (an absolutely terrible game that is far far worse than literally every single CoD after it), and it happened every year after it. Didn't they learn that it's going to be the same thing? Why does them dying in the same game with a few new special features warrant a new hatred while the old games are looked back upon as awesomely fantastic whimsical games that were nothing but memories of good times?
Activision may as well release this message on a card next to its shameless season pass promo with its next YOURE Touch Football FOR BUYING THIS Edition.
Hello Dicktwat fans, you're idiots. You like shooting things and killing them in a quarter second? Great! Hate dying in a quarter second? You can respawn instantly! This formula has kept us alive for 11 years, and we don't really give a shit. But hey look, you can fly around now! Woooooo ooOOoo !!!
- Bobby Kotick.
P.S.: You're going to buy our shit next year anyway, don't even bother lying.
Here's a trip on a - Brief Anti-Nostalgia Trip on the Call of Duty Series:
Call of Duty 1 & 2
These were goofy games but at the time they were good fun. Russians had this ungodly monstrosity SMG with an uberfast RoF and a 71 mag size, while the Americans were just stuck with awful weapons. Thus, the Germans would either almost always lose (vs Russians) or almost always win (vs Americans), while the only balanced matches were British V German. United Offensive introduced maps that were far too large for infantry combat, and really awful vehicular combat that was thankfully shelved afterwards (til Treyarch revived it, gosh darn golly gee whizit). CoD2 was one of the first FPS's I remember with regenerating health in shooters, replacing that stupid health pack shit.
Call of Duty 3
This is to date the only major CoD release I haven't played. It was Treyarch's debut and I've heard it sucked even more ass than their next release, World at War. That sentence alone is difficult for me to believe. But I'll get to that train wreck of a game in a bit.
Call of Duty 4
This was the dawn of the modern series, not just in name but in mechanics as well. Sure, the weapon balance was questionable (P90 vs Mini Uzi, Shotguns earned their place as the shortbus-riding weapon class that they'd sit on for the rest of the whole Foxtroting series, the M16 earned a lot of hatred which I never quite understood, Juggernaut was patently better than Stopping Power, and a Foxtrotton of other things), but it was innovative. Create-a-Class, perks and Kill-streaks were all introduced here. Wow, Infinity Ward was the shit! They sure showed those numbnuts at Treyarch with their joke of a game CoD3. Surely Treyarch would come back with..
Warning: Rant ahead
Call of Duty: World at War
God, was this game a miserable pile of shit. They took the campaign mode of CoD4, set it in world war 2, and multiplied the number of grenades the enemies had on Veteran difficulty by about 35. They took the multiplayer, set it in world war 2, made the rifles all G3 clones (a mediocre rifle from CoD4), and halved the ammo, then took the M4 (another crappy rifle), and gave it a slower RoF, more recoil and sway. They also took the LMGs from CoD4 and halved the ammo, which made almost no Foxtroting sense. Neither Rifles or LMGs were any better for it, they literally just made them shittier. They also made the single worst shotgun in Call of Duty history, which is truly an amazingly award-worthy feat, the Trench Gun. This thing redefined and continues to define ass. Meanwhile, they left SMG's at the same TTK's from CoD4 and they gave them an attachment to double their mag sizes. I already want to drive a truck filled with nitroglycerin into Treyarch's offices before mentioning the hysterical feat of bad game design that was the MP40 on consoles. Good god. The MP40 was this series' antichrist. Every time I see somebody mention this game like it was the good old days on some interesting fellow forum I want to stab them in the Foxtroting throat with a rusty spoon.
Modern Warfare 2
Thankfully, MW2's campaign offered more of that fast-paced Infinity Ward arcade action with a few welcome cheesy additions like the riot shield and the Juggernaut enemies. They were totally removed from reality, but they were a ton of fun. Sadly, the multiplayer was a mixed bag. On one hand, One Man Army/Danger Close/Grenade Launcher was the dumbest thing ever included in a CoD before or since. On the other hand, the weapon balance was pretty gosh darn golly gee whized solid, with a great balance of fast-killing but high-recoil primaries offsetting the slower-killing but lower-recoil ones. The different weapon categories were surprisingly well balanced, with the exception of SMGs which had a hard time finding a niche due to the Machine Pistol and Shotgun secondaries. Speaking of which, the secondaries were divided into machine pistols that could function as all-around weapons for snipers (a serious innovation at the time), shotguns for CQB, rocket launchers for taking care of killstreaks and handguns for quickly drawing in a pinch. OK, if I'm guilty of looking back too fondly on any of these old CoDs its definitely this one. It was extremely flawed, over the top and totally stupid. But I still think it was crazy fun despite how much it pissed me off.
Black Ops
It sucked.
Modern Warfare 3
Here's where the entire Call of Duty franchise fell off a cliff. It didn't die, but it definitely fell a long way down and had to struggle for a bit to cling onto its contrived marketing cliff. MW3's campaign was even more stupid than MW2's, and not in an endearing cheesy way like the former, it just felt forgettable and ridiculous. Gone was the badass General Shepard from MW2 who we finished off in a skill-devoid but still epic boss fight at the end of MW2. Make way for Generic Russian Villain Makarov. And yes, I know he'd been around since MW2 but I just didn't give a shit. Much like the online community after they discovered that the ACR with Kick dominated this game way worse than any problem gun in the series (Since that pile of shit MP40). That said, this game's survival mode is a load of fun with a friend, just like Zombies in the Treyarch games, give it a shot.
Black Ops 2
The campaign is pretty formulaic but it's enjoyable and even dynamic for the first time, the multiplayer actually sets the gold standard for create-a-class customization and weapon balance. To this day two years later I'm shocked... Treyarch made a decent Call of Duty!? What, did they just fire all of their asshat game designers and hire people that weren't complete idiots? Wow! Black Ops 2 is actually a great game. And yet it still manages to be astoundingly boring. Not through any fault of its own, I'm sure if it was my 1st or 2nd Call of Duty game I'd be thrilled. But it's not. It's 9 Years since the first CoD and it's the same Foxtroting thing again.
Ghosts
The last CoD and already I'm sure idiots are saying it's better simply because it's not the "NEW COD KILL IT WITH FIRE BWAAGHHH"
Ghosts is a good game, and I like it too, but I'm not getting into that. This was my accounting of the older CoDs. And that's all I have to say about them. CoD was a mixed bag, some of it was good, a lot of it was bad, and it was basically all the same. Seriously, go play CoD2 and tell me that besides the addition of sprinting and killstreaks it isn't the same thing. It's call of duty, the king of twitch shooters. It isn't going anywhere, and it's always going to be awesome. Some things we may agree or disagree with, the weapon and perk balancing may not always be great, but it's still Foxtroting Call of Duty. You can't tell me you don't have fun after popping that disc in, regardless of the subtitle.
Activision may as well release this message on a card next to its shameless season pass promo with its next YOURE Touch Football FOR BUYING THIS Edition.
Hello Dicktwat fans, you're idiots. You like shooting things and killing them in a quarter second? Great! Hate dying in a quarter second? You can respawn instantly! This formula has kept us alive for 11 years, and we don't really give a shit. But hey look, you can fly around now! Woooooo ooOOoo !!!
- Bobby Kotick.
P.S.: You're going to buy our shit next year anyway, don't even bother lying.
Here's a trip on a - Brief Anti-Nostalgia Trip on the Call of Duty Series:
Call of Duty 1 & 2
These were goofy games but at the time they were good fun. Russians had this ungodly monstrosity SMG with an uberfast RoF and a 71 mag size, while the Americans were just stuck with awful weapons. Thus, the Germans would either almost always lose (vs Russians) or almost always win (vs Americans), while the only balanced matches were British V German. United Offensive introduced maps that were far too large for infantry combat, and really awful vehicular combat that was thankfully shelved afterwards (til Treyarch revived it, gosh darn golly gee whizit). CoD2 was one of the first FPS's I remember with regenerating health in shooters, replacing that stupid health pack shit.
Call of Duty 3
This is to date the only major CoD release I haven't played. It was Treyarch's debut and I've heard it sucked even more ass than their next release, World at War. That sentence alone is difficult for me to believe. But I'll get to that train wreck of a game in a bit.
Call of Duty 4
This was the dawn of the modern series, not just in name but in mechanics as well. Sure, the weapon balance was questionable (P90 vs Mini Uzi, Shotguns earned their place as the shortbus-riding weapon class that they'd sit on for the rest of the whole Foxtroting series, the M16 earned a lot of hatred which I never quite understood, Juggernaut was patently better than Stopping Power, and a Foxtrotton of other things), but it was innovative. Create-a-Class, perks and Kill-streaks were all introduced here. Wow, Infinity Ward was the shit! They sure showed those numbnuts at Treyarch with their joke of a game CoD3. Surely Treyarch would come back with..
Warning: Rant ahead
Call of Duty: World at War
God, was this game a miserable pile of shit. They took the campaign mode of CoD4, set it in world war 2, and multiplied the number of grenades the enemies had on Veteran difficulty by about 35. They took the multiplayer, set it in world war 2, made the rifles all G3 clones (a mediocre rifle from CoD4), and halved the ammo, then took the M4 (another crappy rifle), and gave it a slower RoF, more recoil and sway. They also took the LMGs from CoD4 and halved the ammo, which made almost no Foxtroting sense. Neither Rifles or LMGs were any better for it, they literally just made them shittier. They also made the single worst shotgun in Call of Duty history, which is truly an amazingly award-worthy feat, the Trench Gun. This thing redefined and continues to define ass. Meanwhile, they left SMG's at the same TTK's from CoD4 and they gave them an attachment to double their mag sizes. I already want to drive a truck filled with nitroglycerin into Treyarch's offices before mentioning the hysterical feat of bad game design that was the MP40 on consoles. Good god. The MP40 was this series' antichrist. Every time I see somebody mention this game like it was the good old days on some interesting fellow forum I want to stab them in the Foxtroting throat with a rusty spoon.
Modern Warfare 2
Thankfully, MW2's campaign offered more of that fast-paced Infinity Ward arcade action with a few welcome cheesy additions like the riot shield and the Juggernaut enemies. They were totally removed from reality, but they were a ton of fun. Sadly, the multiplayer was a mixed bag. On one hand, One Man Army/Danger Close/Grenade Launcher was the dumbest thing ever included in a CoD before or since. On the other hand, the weapon balance was pretty gosh darn golly gee whized solid, with a great balance of fast-killing but high-recoil primaries offsetting the slower-killing but lower-recoil ones. The different weapon categories were surprisingly well balanced, with the exception of SMGs which had a hard time finding a niche due to the Machine Pistol and Shotgun secondaries. Speaking of which, the secondaries were divided into machine pistols that could function as all-around weapons for snipers (a serious innovation at the time), shotguns for CQB, rocket launchers for taking care of killstreaks and handguns for quickly drawing in a pinch. OK, if I'm guilty of looking back too fondly on any of these old CoDs its definitely this one. It was extremely flawed, over the top and totally stupid. But I still think it was crazy fun despite how much it pissed me off.
Black Ops
It sucked.
Modern Warfare 3
Here's where the entire Call of Duty franchise fell off a cliff. It didn't die, but it definitely fell a long way down and had to struggle for a bit to cling onto its contrived marketing cliff. MW3's campaign was even more stupid than MW2's, and not in an endearing cheesy way like the former, it just felt forgettable and ridiculous. Gone was the badass General Shepard from MW2 who we finished off in a skill-devoid but still epic boss fight at the end of MW2. Make way for Generic Russian Villain Makarov. And yes, I know he'd been around since MW2 but I just didn't give a shit. Much like the online community after they discovered that the ACR with Kick dominated this game way worse than any problem gun in the series (Since that pile of shit MP40). That said, this game's survival mode is a load of fun with a friend, just like Zombies in the Treyarch games, give it a shot.
Black Ops 2
The campaign is pretty formulaic but it's enjoyable and even dynamic for the first time, the multiplayer actually sets the gold standard for create-a-class customization and weapon balance. To this day two years later I'm shocked... Treyarch made a decent Call of Duty!? What, did they just fire all of their asshat game designers and hire people that weren't complete idiots? Wow! Black Ops 2 is actually a great game. And yet it still manages to be astoundingly boring. Not through any fault of its own, I'm sure if it was my 1st or 2nd Call of Duty game I'd be thrilled. But it's not. It's 9 Years since the first CoD and it's the same Foxtroting thing again.
Ghosts
The last CoD and already I'm sure idiots are saying it's better simply because it's not the "NEW COD KILL IT WITH FIRE BWAAGHHH"
Ghosts is a good game, and I like it too, but I'm not getting into that. This was my accounting of the older CoDs. And that's all I have to say about them. CoD was a mixed bag, some of it was good, a lot of it was bad, and it was basically all the same. Seriously, go play CoD2 and tell me that besides the addition of sprinting and killstreaks it isn't the same thing. It's call of duty, the king of twitch shooters. It isn't going anywhere, and it's always going to be awesome. Some things we may agree or disagree with, the weapon and perk balancing may not always be great, but it's still Foxtroting Call of Duty. You can't tell me you don't have fun after popping that disc in, regardless of the subtitle.
